Four years ago, I sat in Mr. Peters’s second period contemporary literature class. It was my first day of my senior year a high school. He laughed and told us that it was our last first day of school. That in college, first days weren’t as big of a deal as they were in grades K-12. I have found a lot of truth in that, but here I sit, on my actual last first day of school. A lot has happened.
e.e. cummings wrote: ” It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” In my last four years, I have grown up to find more of who I really am. At this moment, I am the most of myself as I have ever been, and as I get older, grow more, learn more, I will become more of my whole self.
Since Mr. Peters told us about our future, I have gotten into three car accidents. I quit a sport that I loved, I finished up with two organizations that I loved even more. I moved away, moved home, moved away again, moved home again, moved away, and then farther away, back home, and away once again.
I fell apart, and have gotten myself back together. The pieces fit much better now. I contemplated drinking a bottle of cleaner, once, for a brief moment, and realized that my sadness with self-inflicted and snapped out of it. I lost a best friends’ father, and lost friends and trust in others. I was lost, but found by three amazing girls that I live with now.
I met some of the most amazing and caring people, a group that I now think of as my extended family, and I know that without them, I could go on–but would have no desire to do so. I watched the organization that kept me sane my first year in school fall apart, but slowly claw its way back into being.
I found my way into a balance, lost my footing, developed an anxiety problem, was offered a great job, and took it. I leaped into working for people who make movies happen. I made a wonderful friend and confidant there. Those people told me to work for them when I finish school.
I don’t know if I have found my calling, but I know that I have found the path that will lead me to it. For now, I have the responsibility to be a friend, a student, and myself.