Don’t get me wrong. I love music. I will even go as far to say that I really enjoy a lot of pop music. “Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson? Yes. I like that song a lot. But lately the radio in the bathroom has really been getting to me.

For one, I am sitting in my room right now, halfway down the hall from the bathroom, and I can clearly hear the Nickleback song being played. The volume of the music coming from that little plastic box is deafening. There is nothing that I want less than some offensive rock band’s (not unlike Nickleback) music slaping me in the face when I go to brush my teeth at night.

Another issue I have with the lavatory music situation is the station that is always on. I’m pretty sure that it is KISS-something, and 80% of the music that I hear on the station makes me want to kill myself. Or possibly the guy who programed the station to play the same 16 songs over and over again. Some of these songs include:

  • “Beverly Hills” by Weezer (which according to Rick Dee’s, this song is #2 this week.)
  • “Sugar We’re Going Down” by Fall Out Boy
  • “We Belong Together” by Mariah Carey
  • “Don’t Mess With My Heart” by Black Eyed Peas
  • “Wake Me Up When September Ends” by Green Day
  • “Don’t Cha” by the Pussycat Dolls
  • “These Words” by Natasha Bedingfeild (okay, I love this song.)
  • “Switch” by Will Smith

And for some reason:

  • “Remix of Ignition” by R. Kelly.

Forgive me if I’m mistaken, but wasn’t this song a hit in the winter of 2002? Yes, I believe it was. Because a kid in my videogrpahy class did a music video to it.

To remedy this situation, I have tried several things. First off, I tried ignoring it. This worked for about a day. Soon I realized that I knew every word to Ryan Cabera’s “Shine On.” The next temporary fix was to simply turn the radio down to a more ear-friendly volume. However, I could still hear the music.

Next I tired simply switching the station. At first, this worked quite well for me, as long as no one was around, because I did not want people to know that I was the person changing their beloved homogonized radio sludge to WBGU, a student run station that plays everything from metal to folk. I could tell that WBGU was not well excepted by the girls on second floor Rodgers, because soon after I left the bathroom, I would hear song poorly composed pop punk song. Next I tired switching it to the oldies station, which had longer staying power, but was also not popular, and changed within a few hours.

One night around midnight, I was brushing my teeth with Meg, and I decided to once again, take this into my own hands. Reluntantly, I turned the dial to 101.5 WRVF The River, Toledo’s soft rock station. Meg and I laughed as we danced around lip syncing into our toothbrushes to the cheesy easy listening song. I went to bed that night, and when I woke up for my 8:30 fiction class, the station was still on. A mixture of pleasure and horror (that station is really bad.) rushed over me. Throughout the day, I would stop by the bathroom to check out if The River was still playing, and to my surprise, it still was. No one changed the radio for two days. I think it’s safe to say that Josh Groban’s “You Raise Me Up” was played 1464 times in our bathroom over those 48 hours, and yet, I was happy. I felt calm. A peace came over me, and for those two days, going to the bathroom was not a punishment of any sort. This nirvana (besides the fact that I had to listen to the less-offensive WRVF) was short lived, and someone (I have my suspicions) changed the station.

2 responses to “Ahem.

  1. haha i had the exact same situation spring semester, except instead of poppish music playing i had to listen to deafeningly loud reggaeton (a horrid mix of rap, r&b and latin music, mainly in spanish). eek. im glad the middle of the road soft rock station had such staying power. my suggestion is to make a mixed cd/tape and put it in the player. people will try to change it, it wont work and i bet it will take them at least a week to figure out its a tape/cd. -liz

  2. The One and Only Zeppo

    Or you can just destroy the CD player by throwing it out the window or tossing it in the shower.

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