So, I have this little problem: I have no idea where my time goes. In college I decided to figure out where all of my hours went per week, and I think I’m going to start doing that again, using iCal.
So far today:
6AM: wake up
6-7:15: worry and wait for Branden’s call that he got into Cleveland okay
7:18-7:40: lay in bed
7:50-8:05: lay in bed
8:05-8:20: get dressed, dry hair
8:20-8:50: morning commute
8:50-now: sit at my desk
“Sit at my desk” can be broken down into a few categories: facebooking, browsing Apartment Therapy, reading pages of script I’ve been working on for three days, and answering the phone. I don’t really beat myself up about wasting these hours, because these are the 10 hours during the day where I have to be sitting at my desk.
I think I’m going to turn off my computer at night, too. No need to browse the internet all night after doing it all day at work.
Tonight I’m going to treat myself to a movie.
Good news: I had an interview today. I have two interviews next week. It’s possible that I’ll get another interview soon for a position on a feature motion picture. (One with real movie stars!)
I’ve been able to make ends meet lately. I’ve been staying positive, and looking to the good things I’ve been blessed with. It makes me a lot happier to act like this rather than loathing myself for not having things go exactly according to plan.
Yesterday two things were sprung on me. Initially I had a minor attack, starting to worry and tear up. Instead of dwelling on this stuff, I decided to take that energy and see what I’d have to do. Keeping flexibility in mind is helping me a lot. This stress stuff is mind over matter.
mistakes aren’t always regrets
“you don’t have the swine flu. stop it.”
“Sometimes, you just need to say ‘fuck it.’ and eat some motherfucking candy.” -Rooster Sedaris
Things aren’t bad.
From now on, I am going to use this space to share positive things. This is the way I’ve decided to deal with my stress and loneliness. In the fall, I dealt with it by throwing up most mornings and crying a lot. (How embarrassing.)
I’m still in a rough patch, but I’m keeping my head up and persevering. Let’s face it: we all have a lot going for us, so why not keep that in the front of your mind?